Fantastic Fables

Having obtained an audience of the King an Ingenious Patriot pulled a paper from his pocket, saying: "May it please your Majesty, I have here a formula for constructing armour-plating which no guncan pierce. If these plates are adopted in the Royal Navy our warships will be invulnerable, andtherefore invincible. Here, also, are reports of your Majesty's Ministers, attesting the value of theinvention. I will part with my right in it for a million tumtums."After examining the papers, the King put them away and promised him an order on the Lord HighTreasurer of the Extortion Department for a million tumtums."And here," said the Ingenious Patriot, pulling another paper from another pocket, "are the workingplans of a gun that I have invented, which will pierce that armour. Your Majesty's Royal Brother, theEmperor of Bang, is anxious to purchase it, but loyalty to your Majesty's throne and personconstrains me to offer it first to your Majesty. The price is one million tumtums."Having received the promise of another check, he thrust his hand into still another pocket, remarking: "The price of the irresistible gun would have been much greater, your Majesty, but for the fact thatits missiles can be so effectively averted by my peculiar method of treating the armour plates with anew-"The King signed to the Great Head Factotum to approach."Search this man," he said, "and report how many pockets he has.""Forty-three, Sire," said the Great Head Factotum, completing the scrutiny."May it please your Majesty," cried the Ingenious Patriot, in terror, "one of them contains tobacco.""Hold him up by the ankles and shake him," said the King; "then give him a check for forty-twomillion tumtums and put him to death. Let a decree issue declaring ingenuity a capital offen