Building Bridges

Communication is at the heart of everything we do; and especially at the heart of mediation. What if the success of a mediation could be measured not as arriving at an enduring negotiated settlement, but as one that is entirely aligned, or congruent, with all individuals? What if great communication could be the mean to this success? As a generalisation, we could say that a lack of communication often leads two parties to seek the assistance of a mediator in the first place. We could even add that mediators are not immune from the same behaviour and responses. Instead of two people distorting, generalising, and deleting information, there are then three. Given that situation, it is a wonder that mediations, or communication, works at all! One reason for its success is that mediators learn to trust the mediation process, and in keeping out of the content or issues of the dispute, they avoid miscommunicating through weak listening. This is where Neuro Linguistic Programming, or NLP, comes in, and in this book we offer a working introduction to the powerful theories and techniques of NLP that are already in use in many areas of people's lives. In NLP, for instance, a state of congruence is a result of all of a person's internal beliefs, strategies, and behaviours being in full agreement and oriented towards securing a desired outcome. In other words, all people in the dispute have their minds and bodies (and some would say soul) aligned with the final outcome-thenegotiated agreement. We show how mediation isn't confined to those who are trained to practise. Parents find themselves mediating, often unknowingly, between their children. Friends often help mutual friends get over silly arguments. Business leaders try to help employees and line managers resolve differences. This book isn't just written for trained mediators then. It is for all those who are interested in other people, and more importantly, the relationships people have with each other and themselves."You have in your hands a book that is vital to what we need in the world today, and something that can influence all of our lives and our children's lives in the future. Enjoy it."