Assholes Finish First

Brief Description: Sequel to: I hope they serve beer in hellBrief Description: Presents a new collection of alcohol-induced "fratire" adventures in hedonism that convey the author's experiences of being intoxicated at inappropriate times, seducing a large number of women, and otherwise living in complete disregard of social norms. Marc Notes: Includes bonus material!--Cover.; Sequel to: I hope they serve beer in hell; Sequel: Hilarity ensues; Presents a new collection of alcohol-induced fratire adventures in hedonism that convey the author's experiences of being intoxicated at inappropriate times, seducing a large number of women, and otherwise living in complete disregard of social norms.. Table of Contents: Author's Note -- Tucker Goes to Campout, Owns Duke Neros -- The Sex Stories, Part 2 -- Whoredentification -- Reduce, Recycle, Reuse -- The Shiftiest Hookup Ever -- Tucker and His First MILF -- Not Another Teen Hookup -- Burn, Baby, Burn! -- I'm a Zit, Get It? -- Head Doctor -- Earth First -- The Capitol City Clown Crawl -- The DC HalloweenParty and The Worst Girl I Ever Fucked -- The Tucker Max Experiance -- The Tucker Max Sexual To-Do List -- The Amputee Story -- The Aborted Twins -- The Midget Story -- Everybody Fails -- Everything Goes Wrong -- The Oversell -- Hello, Nurse -- My 21st Birthday -- Fucker-Up Pillow Talk, Part 2 -- The Tuckerfest Story -- The Post-Fame Sex Stories -- Introduction -- The Tattoo Stories -- Aren't You Lucky? -- Lucky + You -- Time Flies When You're Fucking Tatted-up Whores -- Next-Level Shit -- I Want to Cum Get A Load! -- poopLips -- I'm Not That Type of Girl -- Nils and the Pepperdine D-Girl -- The Things I Put Up With for Pussy -- Too Old for This Shit -- Why You Don't Fuck USC Girls -- Whoring for Charity -- Baby Mama Drama -- The Virginity Paradox -- Don't Fuck with Jack LaLanne -- Strict Liability -- The Tucker Max Sex-Ray -- Hot, Sane, Single -- The Fresno Vet -- Wilfred Brimley's Daughter -- LA Giris Have Their-Own Category -- Tucker Max: Baby Killer -- The Midgets Strike Back -- I Fucked Tucker Max! -- The Penn State Lemondrop Girl -- Texts from Tucker Max's Night -- The Handprint Story -- Objectification -- Good Game, Great Game, and No Game -- Prelude to Hilarity Ensues -- Bonus Section: Other Perspectives From The People Who Were There -- Paperback Bonus Section. Publisher Marketing: The best gift for the dudes and bros in your life: the fratire "New York Times "bestseller "Assholes Finish First," featuring twenty-five new and exclusive stories by Tucker Max. What do you do after you write a #1 bestselling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another bestselling book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, "Assholes Finish First" starts where "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit." You already know how women react to confidence, game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking: - What's it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets? - What does it do to a man to watch a nineteen-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does? - At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job? - When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name on her body, what is the appropriate reaction? The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences: His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an asshole.

Contributor Bio:  Max, Tucker Tucker Max received his BA with highest honors from the University of Chicago in 1998, and attended Duke Law School on an academic scholarship, where he graduated with a JD in 2001. His first book, "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell", is a #1 "New York Times" bestseller, has spent over 150 weeks on the "New York Times" bestseller list over five calendar years, and has sold over 1 million copies. He has also been credited with being the originator and leader of the literary genre, "fratire," and was nominated to "Time" magazine's 100 Most Influential List in 2009. He currently lives in Austin, Texas, and can be reached through his website, TuckerMax.com.